The days rants of a wife and mother
I found myself making yet another list of last minute baby things I need to get. I'm eight months pregnant.
I'm in full mommy mood; when I had a moment of clarity. I love my husband dearly but he has not lifted a finger to make life easier for me for eight months. If I didn't plan for things. It would not get done. It would not even cross his mind. The tears started to pool. I let truths come to the front on my mind. Thoughts I keep hidden well. I would say to myself most days don't complain about how tired you are or how lonely you are. I mean the list could go on. I would say to my self. I have such a good husband. A good provider. He works hard everyday. He lets me control the money. He let me be me. There are so many things. But today it did not matter. Truth is truth. My feelings are my feelings and quite frankly i'm tired of putting my feelings in the back ground. A pregnant woman need to be pampered physically and emotionally. None of which I get. At no free well of his own do I get a foot rub, back rub or let me fix you something to eat honey. If I ran down the list the things I do on a daily bases. You would think I was a slave. We don't fuss. I actually really like my husband as a person. I could not see myself with anyone but him. That being said our relationship could use a little tweaking. It would help if I didn't hide my feelings and if he could loose his bully and defensive like communication . Oh yes that's why I hid my feelings. I feel like I'm always trying to be seen. It seems like I'm only seen when I am doing something for him or my children. I do really feel like a slave and who really cares or listens to a slave. But don't let a slave complete there duties. Then we are seen for all the wrong reasons.. I'm speaking figuratively of course or is it metaphorically. You get the gist. I must admit; I cleaned up this rant a LOT!!. I did not want to look like I had a full on break down. I"m hoping I will feel empty after these words have left my brain. At lease for a while anyway until the next mommy / wife moment. I think I.... will come back and write that list of wife / mommy duties and extras I do on a daily and annual .
Until next time....................................................
Mommy Machine
